The Surface of Love

Your task is not to seek for Love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it. – Rumi

Ever since I was a child I’ve looked for love, the meaning of love, and sometimes what’s love got to do with it. Not having role models to look towards made it tough. The childhood days are reconciled, filed, and understood but often I’ve wondered, where does it put my present self?

For the past 4 years I struggled with love and sex, confusing the two as meaning the same then trying to separate the two because of the experiences I wanted to have and if you aren’t able to tell by this run on sentence quite frankly it became a tangled mess.

Place too many things in boxes on a shelf such as emotions and pretty soon you forget what box holds what. And you’re left with an empty soul.

That’s how I felt, empty, trying to put things back together without recreating the original problem.

Then one night at a restaurant waiting for the meal I passed the time looking at tweets on twitter and something appeared.

“Don’t be silly…there is no emotionless sex, no sex without strings…there is only sex among mature adults that goes no further”

The tweet came from someone that I happen to trust. Throughout the years that he and I have exchanged words he’s always been up front with where he coming from. I admire that quality, more so I respect it.

I read it, I read again. I favorited it as my conscience told me not to react but rather let it seep into my soul.

A week had passed and while sitting, eating lunch at work the thought of that phrase clicked on all cylinders. I smiled.

Where am I at the present with love? It’s there and with the right person it will cultivate. But with all that I wish to experience, sex doesn’t have to be emotionless, the act can have strings. But as 2 consenting adults the moment is the moment and we can leave it as is.

Peace Out 🙂